Critical Conversations--An Important Way to Change Thinking and Communication

When everyone progresses, they will encounter many kinds of key dialogues. What are key dialogues? For example, if you and your boss want to talk about a raise in value, most people either don’t talk about it, or they go side by side, or they leave in a fit of anger. None of these are the best options.

If you have a dispute with your lover because of something, if the communication is not in place, it will affect the relationship between husband and wife and so on. These are the times when critical conversations are needed.

There are two core principles that need to be recognized before talking and communicating.

①, clarify the topic and purpose of the conversation. That is, what I hope to achieve through this conversation. What can you bring to each other.

②, always pay attention to maintaining a sense of security during the dialogue process. That is, pay attention to the content and atmosphere of the conversation. When people resist, it's because they feel insecure in the conversation. A lot of times, the problem is not the content of the conversation, but the manner and atmosphere of the conversation.

What should we say in the conversation?

The first step is to state the facts, without judgment or assumption.

Step 2. Say what you think, based on these facts.

The third step is to ask the other party's point of view to understand the other party's views and thoughts on these things.

Step four, make a tentative statement, admit that these are just your thoughts, don't pretend they are facts.

The fifth step is to encourage experimentation, create a sense of security, and encourage the other party to express different or even opposing viewpoints.

People usually make subjective assumptions and guesses based on what they have seen and heard, combined with their own cognitive judgments, then form feelings, and then take actions.

For example, a colleague greets another colleague when entering the office. Another colleague didn't respond. This colleague began to wonder if I offended him/her, why didn't he respond to my greeting? At this moment, most people feel bad and feel that they are not respected. Then the action started, and I didn't say hello to him/her again, or pretended not to notice the next time he/she asked me for help. This is a simple case, and of course there are people who don't care at all. Or maybe the colleague who was being greeted didn't hear it at all.

I have personally encountered many cases where when I want to express certain things or opinions, the other party simply ignores them. The conversation scene was awkward and indifferent for a while. work

Life is all about key conversations, and what makes conversation masters stand out and become influential people is their ability to avoid the "fool's choice" we all often encounter - vehement opposition or silent acceptance of bad decisions.

William, Shakespeare: It is said that there is no good or bad in the world, it is all because of thought. Thoughts and cognitions are the basis for our judgments, and feelings are created by our own thoughts, not entirely facts. Good relationships start with critical conversations.